Teething, Weaning, and The Pain in My Uterus

These past few months have not been my finest.

Parenthood is kicking my ass. I have maxed out all of my energy, patience, and time taking care of one small seven month old.

Teething is a nightmare. My son is a tough guy. When he went for his last set of immunization, he didn't cry. When he bumps his head, he doesn't cry. When he tumbles face first on to the floor, he doesn't cry. But teething had the family screaming 'mercy.'

I didn't expect all four of T's teeth to come in at the same time. But they did. I'm assuming this is why no amount of pain relief worked. He just had to suffer through it until they cut through the gums. At one point, his gums were so swollen that there was a rip on his gum no where close to a tooth. I felt completely helpless. My heart was broken.

I've had some stressful jobs in my life but I could always leave work and come home for the night. And the pay was always well worth the stress. But this job of being a parent blows every other stress I've ever had in to smithereens. I was having these vivid and recurring nightmares about a Zombie-Apocolypse and the only ones who survive are the mothers and children. My Addison's starting acting up and I became a bitch. A full on get-the-f*ck-out-of-my-face bitch.

I don't like myself when I'm at 150% capacity. I take it out on T and M. And after all is said and done, mommy-guilt sets in. Mommy-guilt is an awful ailment. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

When the teeth finally decided to show their ugly (but so freakin' cute) little faces, we all took a deep breath and waited for the next milestone. Err, that happened the next day. Because T was feeling soooo much better, he started solids, crawling, and sitting in a short amount of time. T loves moving around. Even if I put him in his playpen, he will explore every nook and cranny of that playpen. He's so happy when he's in motion.

T's smile is my medicine.

Starting solids was not as exciting as I thought it would be. He was a little overdue for it but he just went with the change. He loves eating food that he can hold with his hands. (Mind you, the child has NO interest in holding his own bottle). The down side of solids is he has less interest in nursing.

I hardly need to wean. T only breastfeeds before sleeping and for snacks. He's recently cut out the 'snacks' part. I haven't had the best experiencewith breastfeeding in the past, but I was just starting to really enjoy it. Although T is ready for weaning, I was not. And then T bit my nipple. Holy Shiitake that hurts!!!

The part I've been dreading most about weaning – that awful pain in my uterus. Before T, my period cramps would knock me on my ass. I'd have to take a day off work and fill up on painkillers so I could sleep it off. I wasn't looking forward to getting those types of cramps while looking after an infant. When mother nature reared her ugly head, I was PISSED OFF. I was sure I was in the clear for at least another month. But I dug up all the muscle relaxants I could find and waited for the pain to start. It was completely different. It was a dull pain that was still obvious for the day but I was way too busy with my routine to notice. I took one Advil and that was that. Back to my 'scheduled programming.'

So now we're here already. T is almost eight months old. The trees are shedding beautiful orange and red leaves. I'm looking forward to T's first Halloween. He's such a delight to be around. He inspires me. It's the most incredible feeling in the world to watch your child light up like a Christmas tree when you walk in to the room. It makes me forget about the tough times.

Mommy Hiatus?

I didn't mean to be gone this long. I really just wanted to take a week break from my blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I went back to Twitter and Facebook after that week but my blog is dusty after a two month hiatus.

Life with baby became...overwhelming.

T starting teething. I knew this would be a difficult time for him but had no idea how challenging it would be for me. All four of T's front teeth came in at the same time.

Yes, I said 'the same time.'

You can imagine how uncomfortable the little guy was for the five and half weeks it took for the teeth to poke through. It took everything out of me. Then it took another 20% of what I didn't have. Sometimes being a mom is no fun at all.

Once T's teeth were through, he started to hit his milestones at warp speed. Sitting, solids, crawling, talking. And whenever I hear my son say 'mama', I melt in to pushover-goo. He can get away with ANYTHING as long as he calls out 'mama'.

This is the roller coaster called parenthood. Down one day, up the next.

When I finally stopped to check myself, I realized I was completely drained. I was depressed, unmotivated, and completely unwilling to do anything but the obligatory parenting stuff. And I was only doing that half-assed.

Now T and I are finally getting back in to a routine. Most of his actions are pretty predictable and easy to deal with. He loves being seven and a half months old and experiencing everything for the first time. He's enjoying life so I might as well, too.

As most of my mommy bloggers will understand, it's hard to find time for blogging and you're not always motivated to write. I especially don't like to write about the bad stuff. But being a mommy comes with bad stuff. The good/bad ratio eventually evens out but when you go two months of bad days, you certainly don't want to write a bitchy blog about how awful it is to be a mother – dare I say.

When I get stuck in a non-writing phase, I find it VERY difficult to just sit down and write again.But here I sit. Writing a blog I was completely unmotivated to write. But it's not so bad. In fact, I'm quite pleased with it. I'm looking forward to writing another this afternoon.

Wordless Wednesday - Watchin' the World Go By