Grocery Shopping Magic

This week, I wrote a guest post for Bee at The Juggling Act Called Life. The post is about how to be in and out of the grocery store in thirty minutes or less. Wonder over to Bee's blog for a read.

Grocery Store Magic

What I've Learned from my Six Month Old

T is six months old today. This morning, I looked at the photos from the day he was born. They are nicely framed on my foyer wall. When did I EVER have time to frame and hang photos?

I'm amazed at how fast life moves when there's an infant in the house. It really does feel like yesterday that I pulled him out of my womb. (I'm still very proud of that). T and I have both evolved and are both very curious to know what happens next. He teaches me something new every day. I wanted to take some time to reflect on what I've learned in the first six months of my son's life.

Eat, Move, Rest

Our mommy lives are always going to be VERY busy. We need to keep up with little people that have unlimited energy. Actually, we work hard to keep our babies healthy so they do have energy for physical and brain power. It just makes sense that we do the same thing. Here's what I do to for my energy level.

Don't be a Perfect Mommy

I spent the first three months of T's life trying to be the perfect mommy. I ended being disappointed in myself every time T cried. Being the perfect mommy is exhausting, frustrating, and self-destructive. Babies are forgiving. If you take too long getting a bottle or you eat dinner before they do, they'll forgive you. They don't care if the laundry is done. They don't care if the dishes are done. They just care that you are there for them.

Cry

I practice this once a week. I'm an emotional person. A good cry always makes me feel better. Being a parent is the toughest job on the planet. You don't get a paycheck, you don't get a lunch break, and you don't get weekends off. Holding your emotions in is only going to make things worse. So if the kids have been screaming all day, the kitchen looks like a bomb went off, and your youngest just fell asleep at midnight, have a good cry.

Reconnect

I'm still working on this one. I'm not a very romantic person. I know how to be sexy for M but not romantic. Since baby, our relationship takes second place. I still want M to feel special just as I like M to do the same for me. I've started writing him little love notes every day. Whether it's a silly joke or an invitation to meet in the laundry room for a make out session, I want him to look forward to the little 'blue' notes.

Like most parents say, your love life changes drastically. You can't be spontaneous and you can't limit encounters to the evening. Sometimes baby's nap time becomes play time for the grown ups. Or sometimes you set the alarm for 3 am and get frisky.

Intimacy is very important to M and I. Intimacy doesn't mean just sex. Patting your hubby on the bum as he passes you or giving him a sexy kiss when he comes home from work is intimacy. Cuddling on the couch is intimacy. Communicating is intimacy.

Pray

I'm not a religious or spiritual person. I've struggled with believing in a god my entire life. When T came along, I had to ask someone or something to protect him. I'm still not sure what or who it is that I pray to, but I have a feeling they are listening. Sometimes I pray for a good night sleep. Sometimes I pray for T's teeth to come in. Mostly I pray for T's health and well-being.

If I didn't pray, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

Take photos

I get it, no new mommy has time to edit, develop, and sort through photos. And who the hell has time for scrapbooking??? So just take them. Take LOTS of them. Download them on to your computer once a week. Back up the saved photos once a week. Then when the little one gets older you'll have the photos to edit, develop, sort through, and organize. You might even have time to scrapbook or frame and hang them.

Find Your-new-Self

My old life is a distant memory. I've evolved more in T's six months than I have my whole life. But I'm still learning about the new me. I mostly do this via my blog. I get to write down my feelings and rant about the shitty stuff. I also learn about me through T. All I have to do is look in to T's eyes when I'm rocking him to sleep to know that I am this kid's everything. How incredibly lovely is it to be someone's everything?

Be Silly

I get to act like a kid again. T loves it when I dance and sing off key. He loves it when I'm happy. Some days I have to fake happy but as soon as I start acting silly, I don't have to fake it anymore.

Being silly means doing something completely ridiculous. Something you would be embarrassed if your friends saw you doing it. Like the hokey-pokey. My kid goes CRAZY for the hokey-pokey. I will do anything to make my kid laugh. For T, this usually means me being silly.

Eat, Move, Rest

Eat, Sleep, Move

Our mommy lives are always going to be VERY busy. We need to keep up with little people that have unlimited energy. Actually, we work hard to keep our babies healthy so they do have energy for physical and brain power. It just makes sense that we do the same thing. Here's what I do to for my energy levels.

Eat

After T was born, I had some serious explaining to do. I'd gained almost forty five pounds during my pregnancy. Because of the Addison's Disease and being gluten free, gaining and losing weight has always been difficult for me. For T's first three months, I ate the same way I did when I was pregnant. Cravings turned in to emotional eating because of the stress of having a newborn. I gained a bit more on top of my pregnancy weight. When T hit his four month milestone, I threw out all the junk food in the house. This wasn't easy. I'm a junk food junky. I salivate over potato chips and love gummy sugary candy. I also love soda. The only way I get caffeine is by drinking full-strength Coke. But it's not practical for my life anymore.

I started eating only healthy option foods and didn't worry so much about dieting. I chose Coke-Zero, which took some getting used to. I filled my grocery cart up with fruits and was proud to walk through the junk food aisle without dropping anything in my cart. Then I slowly started eating less and less until I got to my pre-pregnancy daily intake. I've lost almost thirty pounds in two months.

I don't particularly care what shape I am these days. M and T love me the way I am and, frankly, so do I. But with fifty extra pounds, I wouldn't be able to keep up with a crawling or walking child. And I'd have to live in my maternity clothes forever.

My son NEVER stops moving. He's always squirming and wiggling his way across the floor and his body is only idle when he's in a deep sleep. I still need to eat a lot of food to keep up with him, but they are all healthy choices. I even still eat chocolate, just dark chocolate – and it's usually a once-in-a-while treat. Key word = usually. :s

Move

I HATE exercising. I know 'hate' is a strong word but I friggin' HATE it. Mommyhood made me realize that being healthy is more important than it ever was before. T is certainly not going to be happy with a mommy who takes him to the playground and then parks her lazy ass on the bench to watch.

Since T never stops moving, I figured I should keep moving too. I've decided to start by walking. I live in a great neighborhood that has everything I need within walking distance. There's really no point in taking the car half a block to pick up some fruit. If I'm being honest, every walk I have to take, I go kicking and screaming. I'd RATHER take the car, but I have to convince myself that there's no point. After I walk, I always feel glad that I went because I'm rejuvenated – even invigorated. Those are big bonus words for any mommy. I'm hoping, in the next month, to upgrade to jogging.

Rest

Sleeping/Napping is a very important part of my day. When T goes down for a nap, and I'm tired, I'll put him in the bed with me and we'll sleep for two hours. If I'm not tired, I'll lay down in a quiet room and watch a movie or read a book. As long as I'm resting, I know I'll feel refreshed when T wakes up. I try not to let the 'To-Do' list nag when T's sleeping. If I start cleaning the playroom or tweeting while T is sleeping, I'll completely miss my opportunity for resting. In some cases, I start to resent T because I didn't get a nap when really it was my own fault. So I like to stay refreshed for T.

I go to bed when T goes to bed. I chose a ten o'clock bedtime for both of us. T sleeps from ten until four, has a bottle at four, and goes back to sleep until seven or eight a.m. I'm pretty lucky that he sleeps well at night.

I use a routing for bedtime. T gets a bath, a walk around the block with daddy, and a full bottle fed to him in the dark before bedtime. The bath is his cue that it's time to wind down. By the time I get to the 'dark feed', his eyes are pretty squinty. I'm hoping to start a different routine for nap times. Right now, T's nap times are all over the place but he seems to get tired and fussy at the same times during the day.

The routines and habits will always change, but the main life elements don't. I need to eat, move, and rest to be at my best. Being at my best for T is all I ever want.

Wordless Wednesday - Roflmao

Sometimes, life is just damn funny...
(Linked up with MyLittleDrummerBoys blog)

A Difficult Phase - Advice is Welcome and Encouraged

Calling all mothers. I need some salvation. PLEASE!

My son is going through a difficult phase right now. I believe, but am not certain, that it's separation anxiety. He's six months old and every time he is not in my arms or M's arms, he's whining or crying. I can handle listening to the whining but he sounds so sad and desperate when he cries. It's heartbreaking to just leave him on the mat or in his playpen even when I'm in the same room. I've been giving 120% of myself to keep him occupied. Then I try to disengage and give him a chance to be alone even though he cries. But the cycle quickly begins again. I'm exhausted. I can't really do anything on my own for more than ten minutes without hearing a screeching cry.

I don't have time to blog - it's taken me almost three days to write this one. I don't have time to relax. I don't have time for me. M is great. When he's not working he takes T for a walk or plays with him. But he's tired from work too. How do I get through this phase? Do I let him cry it out? Do I hold him non stop and wait out the phase?

It's just me and M here. I don't have family in town, and my friends are way too busy to even ask for help. I'm leaning towards letting him cry it out but I don't want my poor son traumatized and unable to trust. He sleeps well at night – alone in his crib. Why are his waking hours spent begging (yes, it's basically begging) for our undivided attention?

Being a mommy is not all roses and sunshine. These past few weeks have been really tough and I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Every mom knows that a happy mommy equals a happy baby. I seem to be in a vicious cycle of exhausted, warn out, unhappy mommy = sad baby. Not really a nice phase for baby either.

Please tell me your child went through something similar as an infant. How did you handle this? Any suggestions on how I should handle this – conventional or not? Am I overreacting? Argh. Sigh.

Side note: Please forgive my absence from Twitter, Facebook, and Blogging. Obviously, this phase is taking every ounce of me.